I looked forward to writing this review for weeks. As I cycled through the year, I curated snippets of events, reflections, and quotes, that would make it to the final draft. But as I set out to weave the year into perspective, I was overcome with reluctance. When friends asked me to articulate the reasons for this resistance, I explained that 2022 lacked the hunger that fueled most of my decisions in 2021. Most of the year felt ‘normal’. I did more coasting than hustling and a part of me was disturbed by this realization. This was far from how I intended the year to go.
“…you run and run, mile after mile, and you never quite know why. You tell yourself that you’re running towards some goal, chasing some rush, but really you run because the alternative, stopping, scares you to death”
— Phil Knight
2021 felt like I was running towards autonomy. I wanted a distinction from my degree. More importantly, I wanted a job. The year ended with those things in the bag. Having achieved these goals, I needed a new mission going into the new year. I resolved to run towards stability in certain areas of my life. But I did not define what this stability meant, because of an unwillingness to entertain what stopping would mean for me. I told myself that I’d know when I got there. You see, I had grown to love this act of running.
So, I ran.
On slowing down
“They plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners.”
— Quran 8:30
But I would not run for long. One day, I received an email from a financial services company inviting me for the final round of recruitment interviews. I had 3 days to prepare, with no option to postpone. That was my only shot. Glassdoor, LinkedIn, Leetcode, and a few phone calls later, I had gathered enough material and had mapped out a strategy for the coming days. It would be a rough couple of days, but I threw myself into preparation like nothing else mattered. You must understand that this interview was different. I had a bias for the industry, I admired the company, and perhaps most importantly, I loved the company’s office building — something about tall buildings inspires me to dream. At the time, it was obvious that the only thing that stood between me and unrestricted access to this building that dotted the London skyline was a 90-minute Zoom call with two interviewers. I had to give this my best shot. And boy, I did.
After what could be considered the longest 28 hours in recorded history, I got the call! I got the job! I was in! Alhamdulillah
Right then, I knew. 2022 had peaked. Time to stop running. Just one problem: January just ended. The year had barely begun!
On stability
When your year peaks in January, you are presented with a peculiar set of problems. For the first couple of weeks, you relish this good fortune; but said fortune quickly fades into the background and the familiar longing rears its head. Fortunately, this time, family and friends helped me see my situation for what it was — “normal”. This clarity helped me to redirect my energy into more rewarding ventures. Free from the pressures of job-hunting, I was able to invest in learning things I cared about such as database technologies, version control, cloud infrastructure technologies and so much more.
The guarantee of stability also helped me come into my own this year. Alhamdulillah. I was finally able to afford more than life’s basics. It felt like all the work from the past three years started to pay off and I was immensely grateful for everyone that had been core to my story. In my quieter moments, I would often reflect on the interplay of chance, grace, and grit in deciding life’s outcomes.
This year, I was able to do more for my people, draw healthier boundaries, and fund a few guilty pleasures. The only downside to all of this was that my rent stopped being my parents’ problem. I know. Bad things happen to good people all the time. 😒😒
On friendships
These months have been easier with people who genuinely root for me and vice versa. Despite navigating life on individual terms, I am grateful for the avenue for the shared vulnerability that my friendships provide. One of my high-level resolutions coming into 2022 was to be more present in my friendships. I am glad to have been able to achieve this and hope to do more next year in terms of my time and resources.
As usual, I am happy to share that many of my friends made giant strides with their careers, moved countries, switched jobs, graduated from challenging degrees in stellar fashion, got married, while others got their first offers, and a few others are still waiting for their big break. I am happy for and proud of all of them. I hope next year gets even better for them as they continue to grow into better versions of themselves.
One of the best decisions of my year was a friendship that began via a cold email. I think about the thousand things that could have gone wrong but did not. I am very grateful for the alignment of time and chance in what has grown to become something truly beautiful.
Here’s to the longevity of old friendships, the novelty of new ones, and the promise of future ones.
On books
I read 23 books this year, a 229% increase from last year. This year, I gave myself to stories that touched on the immigrant experience, the Nigerian civil war, parental grief, Chibok girls, forbidden love, electronic trading, honour killings in some middle eastern cultures, and so much more. I tried to read one book per author this year in a bid to prioritize exploration over exploitation, but I appreciate that many more stories would escape my reach simply due to the finite nature of time. That said, I hope to read even more books next year.
Reading generates, by far, the greatest return on investment among my hobbies. Not only does it provide an easy escape from my lived reality and improves my writing; reading has served as a starter to countless conversations, helped to facilitate new friendships, and more recently, it was instrumental in landing a mentorship with a senior colleague at work. What’s not to love?
Some of my favourite reads in 2022 (in no order):
- The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows — John Koenig
- Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt — Michael Lewis
- Honor — Elif Shafak
- The Art of Racing in the Rain — Garth Stein
- A Broken People’s Playlist — Chimeka Garricks
- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo — Taylor Jenkins Reid
On love
Nothing to report. We go again next year
On loss
“And if in time I’m burdened to outlive the ones I love
I hope I find no words I didn’t say
I hope I’m out of words anyway”
— Anyway, Canyon City
I lost people this year. Some close, some distant. I often find myself remembering things I should have said that would have eased their burdens or widened their smile. This year, I learnt that grief is love with nowhere to go. So, I am writing this to remind myself to exhaust my best words on those I love. To remind myself not to be stingy with praise towards the deserving. To force myself to speak these words while they still hold meaning towards those who need to hear them the most.
And that as we carry our dead within us, may we not forget to live.
On learnings
This year taught me a few lessons. Top of which are:
- Know when to stop running.
- People are not going to view the world the same way you do. Doesn’t make their worldview wrong or yours superior
- Give yourself to your hobbies. They will keep you rooted in the ways that matter
- Rejections are a part of life. If you can, get better. But never get bitter
- Goodwill, too, is a universal currency
On (tentative) resolutions
Fun fact: I completed all my (tentative) resolutions for 2021. Maybe not so tentative after all 😋😋.
I intend to achieve the following next year
- Be intentional about meeting new people
- Be more present in my friendships and relationships
- Establish a reputation of excellence in cloud technologies
- Build muscle
On gratitude
Grateful to God, family, friends, and everyone that made 2022 all that it was for me. This year, I relied on the kindness of acquaintances, thrived on the generosity of strangers, and witnessed the second-order effects of goodwill when building networks.
To my parents, siblings, and family, I am grateful for the unalloyed support. No one could have done it better.
To friends, old and new, thank you for holding it down for me. May your growth be total. May 2023 be better
To my wider network of connections instrumental to my 2022, I recognize every single action and I appreciate all of them.
And to everyone that added flair, colour and depth to my year, you have my total gratitude.
2021 was an iteration towards autonomy. 2022 was a race to stability. The theme for 2023 is audacity. Yes, you heard it here first. Here’s to occupying more space, and positioning myself for opportunities. Here’s to braving rejections and soaking up wisdom as I go.
2023, pls be nice. Let’s do this
Originally published on Medium